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America's Funniest People/Catchphrases
Opening Spiels OPENING #1: "Last time/week with your telephone votes, you picked the winner of the America's Funniest People $15,000 contest. Who did you vote for? (insert three finalists). Now, for the results of the votes, here are the hosts of our show… (go to OPENING #3) OPENING #2: "Tonight on America's Funniest People, the studio audience will make their choices/choose as to who will share the $15,000 cash prizes. And now, your hosts: Dave Coulier and Arleen Sorkin!" OPENING #3: "(Ladies and gentlemen,) Dave Coulier and Arleen Sorkin/Tawny Kitaen!" Catchphrases "If you think you're funny or have some unusual talents that make people laugh, put it on tape and send it to us! Or, call us at this number. (shows number on screen)" – Dave Coulier "Our phone voting poll are officially open for tonight's three challenging top finalists, so get set to call! If you have a quick joke or a funny or unusual talent, you could compete/be eligible in our weekly contest totalling $15,000 in prizes! If you have a video tape that shows off your talents, send it to us now at this address. Enclose a $3.00 fee if you would like your tape returned. For full contest rules, call us or write us at the address on the screen! We are not responsible for misdirected tapes. Employees of Capitol Cities/ABC and Vin Di Bona Productions are not eligible. To make our deadline, mail/send your tapes in now! Call us anytime to find out how you might be on our show!" – Ernie Anderson "Do you have a quick joke or funny talent? You can compete in our weekly contest worth $15,000! You have a videotape that shows off your talent? Send it to us now at this address! Enclose a $3.00 fee if you would like your tape returned. For full contest rules, call us or write us at the address on the screen! We are not responsible for misdirected tapes. To make our deadline, mail your tapes in now! America's Funniest People will be video taping soon in (list of cities)/your area! Call us anytime to find out how you might be on our show!" – Ernie Anderson (Season 1 Plug) "If you want to compete in our contest worth $15,000. Get those home video cameras and start videotaping yourselves. Send those quick jokes or funny talents right away! For complete contest rules or write us at this address!" – Season 2 Plug "The phone lines for voting are officially open! Our producers have chosen the finalists which we will show you now! And you can vote by phone and your choice will be announced at next week's show!" – Arleen Sorkin "Our first finalist is (insert name). The number to call to vote for him/her is (insert phone number)." – Dave Coulier "Remember, your votes are limited to one call per household. Each subsequent/additional calls will be 75 cents extra." – Arleen Sorkin "Our second finalist is (insert name). If you wish to vote for him/her, call this number at (insert phone number)." – Dave Coulier/Arleen Sorkin "And finally/last but not least, finalist (number) three is (insert name). The number to call to vote for him/her is (insert phone number)." – Dave Coulier "Third place is $2,000, second place is $3,000, and the grand prize first place winner receives $10,000!" – Dave Coulier & Arleen Sorkin "Last week, you voted for these three people whose performances could win them a total of $15,000. Now it is time to find out who will take home the cash!" – Dave Coulier "The second place $3,000 winner from (insert location), doing (insert act), is (insert name)!" – Dave Coulier "Remember, the third place winner receives $2,000." – Arleen Sorkin/Tawny Kitaen "And now, the winner of the $10,000 grand prize is… (INSERT NAME), AND (INSERT ACT)!!!" – Dave Coulier/Arleen Sorkin "Congratulations (to you), (insert name of winner)! And, in the next 26 minutes, our viewing audience will choose three more winners, on America's Funniest People!" – Arleen Sorkin/Tawny Kitaen Tagline DAVE: "We'll see you next time/week on America's Funniest People, and remember, No Funny…" ARLEEN/TAWNY: "No Money!" DAVE: "Good night, everybody!” Category:Quotes & Catchphrases Category:America's Funniest People